April 22, 2011

Ramblings.

“I am convinced that most people do not grow up. We find parking spaces and honor our credit cards. We marry and dare to have children and call that growing up. I think what we do is mostly grow old. We carry accumulation of years in our bodies and on our faces, but generally our real selves, the children inside, are still innocent and shy as magnolias.
We may act sophisticated and worldly but I believe we feel safest when we go inside ourselves and find home, a place where we belong and maybe the only place we really do”
- Maya Angelou, Letter To My Daughter, pp. 6-7

limboyouth:

“Cycle of Experimental Art”, (1968), Rosario, Argentina by Graciela Carnevale.
In the context of Fascist Argentina, Carnevale invited an audience to an exhibition where she locked them inside the gallery for over an hour without prior notice or explanation, until the crowd finally decided to smash the glass to escape.

“Cycle of Experimental Art”, (1968), Rosario, Argentina by Graciela Carnevale.

In the context of Fascist Argentina, Carnevale invited an audience to an exhibition where she locked them inside the gallery for over an hour without prior notice or explanation, until the crowd finally decided to smash the glass to escape.

Tina Fey is a badass.

grimmtrotzits:

afternoonsnoozebutton:

“Dear Internet” by Tina Fey
From PerezHilton.com/Posted by jerkstore on Wednesday, 1/21/2009, 11:21 P.M.

“In my opinion Tina Fey completely ruined SNL. The only  reason she’s celebrated is because she’s a woman and an outspoken  liberal. She has not a single funny bone in her body.”

“Dear jerkstore,
Huzzah for the Truth Teller! Women in this country have been  over-celebrated for too long. Just last night there was a story on my  local news about a “missing girl,” and they must have dedicated seven or  eight minutes to “where she was last seen” and “how she might have been  abducted by a close family friend,” and I thought, “What is this, the  News for Chicks?” Then there was some story about Hillary Clinton flying  to some country because she’s secretary of state. Why do we keep  talking about these dumdums? We are a society that constantly celebrates  no one but women and it must stop! I want to hear what the men of the  world have been up to. What fun new guns have they invented? What are  they raping these days? What’s Michael Bay’s next film going to be?
When I first set out to ruin SNL, I didn’t think anyone  would notice, but I persevered because—like you trying to do a  nine-piece jigsaw puzzle—it was a labor of love.
I’m not one to toot my own horn, but I feel safe with you, jerkstore, so I’ll say it. Everything you ever hated on SNL was by me, and anything you ever liked was by someone else who did it against my will.
Sincerely,
Tina Fey
P.S. You know who does have a funny bone in her body? Your mom every night for a dollar.”
(source)

haha.  jerkstore.

I know everyone’s read this story already, but I had to reblog this because it’s officially the greatest pic of Tina Fey in existence.




From PerezHilton.com/Posted by jerkstore on Wednesday, 1/21/2009, 11:21 P.M.
“In my opinion Tina Fey completely ruined SNL. The only reason she’s celebrated is because she’s a woman and an outspoken liberal. She has not a single funny bone in her body.”
“Dear jerkstore,
Huzzah for the Truth Teller! Women in this country have been over-celebrated for too long. Just last night there was a story on my local news about a “missing girl,” and they must have dedicated seven or eight minutes to “where she was last seen” and “how she might have been abducted by a close family friend,” and I thought, “What is this, the News for Chicks?” Then there was some story about Hillary Clinton flying to some country because she’s secretary of state. Why do we keep talking about these dumdums? We are a society that constantly celebrates no one but women and it must stop! I want to hear what the men of the world have been up to. What fun new guns have they invented? What are they raping these days? What’s Michael Bay’s next film going to be?
When I first set out to ruin SNL, I didn’t think anyone would notice, but I persevered because—like you trying to do a nine-piece jigsaw puzzle—it was a labor of love.
I’m not one to toot my own horn, but I feel safe with you, jerkstore, so I’ll say it. Everything you ever hated on SNL was by me, and anything you ever liked was by someone else who did it against my will.
Sincerely,
Tina Fey
P.S. You know who does have a funny bone in her body? Your mom every night for a dollar.”


From tmz.com
Posted by Sonya in Tx on 4/7/2010, 4:33 P.M.
“When is Tina going to do something about that hideous scar across her cheek??”
Dear Sonya in Tx,
Greetings, Texan friend! (I’m assuming the “Tx” in your screen name stands for Texas and not some rare chromosomal deficiency you have. Hope I’m right about that!)
First of all, my apologies for the delayed response. I was unaware you had written until I went on tmz.com to watch some of their amazing footage of people in L.A. leaving restaurants and I stumbled upon your question.
I’m sure if you and I compare schedules we could find a time to get together and do something about this scar of mine. But the trickier question is What am I going to do? I would love to get your advice, actually. I’m assuming you’re a physician, because you seem really knowledgeable about how the human body works. What do you think I should do about this hideous scar? I guess I could wear a bag on my head, but do I go with linen like the Elephant Man or a simple brown paper like the Unknown Comic? Too many choices, help!
Thank you for your time. You are a credit to Texas and Viking women both.
Yours,
Tina
P.S. Great use of double question marks, by the way. It makes you seem young.


From Dlisted.com
Posted by Centaurious on Monday, 9/21/2009, 2:08 A.M.
“Tina Fey is an ugly, pear-shaped, bitchy, overrated troll.”
Dear Centaurious,
First let me say how inspiring it is that you have learned to use a computer.
I hate for our correspondence to be confrontational, but you have offended me deeply. To say I’m an overrated troll, when you have never even seen me guard a bridge, is patently unfair. I’ll leave it for others to say if I’m the best, but I am certainly one of the most dedicated trolls guarding bridges today. I always ask three questions, at least two of which are riddles.
As for “ugly, pear-shaped, and bitchy”? I prefer the terms “offbeat, business class–assed, and exhausted,” but I’ll take what I can get. There’s no such thing as bad press!
Now go to bed, you crazy night owl! You have to be at NASA early in the morning. So they can look for your penis with the Hubble telescope.
Affectionately,
Tina


From a bodybuilding forum
Posted by SmarterChild, on 2/24/2008, 2:10 P.M.
“I’d stick it in her tail pipe.”
Dear SmarterChild,
Thank you so much for your interest. Whether you meant it in a sexual way or merely as an act of aggression, I am grateful. As a “woman of a certain age” in this business, I feel incredibly lucky to still be “catching your eye” “with my anus.” You keep me relevant!
Sincerely,
Ms. T. Fey

Originality.

April 18, 2011

100 Facts About Me #4

I hate clingy.

I'm sure at one point or another in my life I've been clingy.  I'm also older, smarter, wiser (ha!) & a LOT more independent than the Tiff of years past.   I am NOT clingy now.  I value my alone time, whether I use that time productively or not.  Yes, I have a boyfriend and we have been dating for six years but NO I do not feel like I have to spend every fucking waking minute with him.  I am my own person, capable of doing things by myself or if I choose, people other than my boyfriend.  I don't need to be around him 24/7.  If I go away somewhere, he's still as much my boyfriend as if I was sitting next to him.  I just don't get it.


See, the thing that pisses me off is this - you got along perfectly fine without the person with whom you are in a relationship BEFORE you were in a relationship with said person.  (are you following me here?) WHY is it, now, you can't seem to?  I was clingy, I'm sure, when I was a teenager.  When you're in High School and all you have to worry about is your boyfriend/girlfriend & what your friends are doing on a Friday night, Clingy is kind of part of the deal.  I'm not saying it's ok, but it's less severe an offense in my mind than when a full grown "adult" does it.

Listen up class - this is important.  If you are a clingy person, you will eventually suffocate the one you cling to.  This will do one of two things:  they will stay with you because they love you but feel a little resentment at the fact that they don't ever have alone time OR the suffocation will get to its boiling point and they will leave because they can't take it anymore.  Things need to breathe.  People are not a possession.  They are a serendipitous event that happens to you.  They're a wonderful gift (the good ones anyway).

ADULT.  As an adult, certain things are expected of you.  Rent or a Mortgage bill, Utility Bills, Levelheaded Thinking, Maturity, Jobs, A Car & Car Insurance, Independence, maybe credit card bills....etc. (you see where I am going with this)

I just don't see where clingy fits into this "adult" life.


Put on your big girl/boy panties.  Man up.  Go do what needs to be done.  Live life.  Have fun.  Your significant other will be right there waiting for you when you're done.  And if they aren't?  They weren't worth it anyway.  TRUTH.

April 6, 2011

#100 Facts About Me - #3

I have no desire to get married.

Before you read that sentence then roll your eyes and scoff at me, let me explain.  No, I am not some feminist who "doesn't need a man", nor am I the bitter girl says "I don't need it" when all she really wants is a hubby, house and 2.5 kids. 

My boss says "Do it.  It's a break on your taxes."  Yet he's divorced and can't stand his ex wife.  Really?!  A break on taxes.  THAT'S your argument.  Please....


Truth is, I really don't see the point.  In the most literal sense of the term,  marriage is a ring and a piece of paper.  A break on your taxes.  A ring to shove in your friends faces.  A cease and desist on the snotty things people whisper about you about you "Living In Sin", etc. 

Marriage seems to be a way to legitimize all the so-called "bad things" you're doing anyway.  But if you're doing it anyway, why should you feel the need to legitimize it?  If you're ashamed of your actions pre-marriage, then you probably shouldn't have been doing them in the first place.  Logic.

It's not like marriage = happiness.  I mean, look at divorce rates!  50% percent of first marriages, 67% of second and 74% of third marriages end in divorce, according to Jennifer Baker of the Forest Institute of Professional Psychology in Springfield, Missouri.

Who knows?  Maybe I'll change my mind down the road.  Maybe not.

Uncle Sam has some interesting things to say about how it is beneficial not to get married.  Read them here.
 

April 4, 2011

Blah.

I feel god-awful.

I think I might have vertigo.

Things feel like they are spinning, and I have some serious fatigue.  When I close my eyes, I can hear my eyes moving.  I know that sounds insane, and it just might be....but it's pretty much kept me from doing anything lately.  I tried working in our outdoor shed yesterday but I kept having to sit down due to dizziness.  Very counter-productive. 

 (cue dramatic music)

Haven't been feeling well enough to work out either.  Anytime I start to feel a little warm, I get hit with nausea. 

I need to face it - I'm falling apart.

It is fortunate that I have a pre-scheduled Dr.'s appointment today.  It was just my monthly check-up but I feel like I should ask him about this dizzy/nausea/weak crap that's been going on.  Also, I think it's time to talk to him about my NSRED.  It's not getting any better on its own.  So there we are. 

Wish me luck today - cause I am about damn tired of this.