January 15, 2014

A Letter To My Cat

Beauford,

I love you, my little kitty guy.  You are a miraculous creature of unprecedented majesty.
 

The simple sight of you (most days...I'll get to this in a minute) makes a bad day better.  Your "ra-raaaaah" when I come through the door after a long day at work makes me think, "Hey, he must be happy to see me.", but in reality you're probably like "Oh good, my butler has returned home."  I choose to believe the former.  I'm optimistic.

You're, for the most part, a pretty chill dude.  Seriously.  You were named after the drummer in the Dave Matthews Band so chill is kind of your thing.  You let me put clothes on you every great once in a while and you even kind of, sorta let me walk you on that leash that one time.  What can I say?  You seem to like the outside & it was worth a shot. 

You've got a bold personality.  You're a wild and crazy beast!  The way you tear through the house at 4 a.m., knocking things over & meowing at your loudest like you're Mel Gibson in Braveheart and you have to rally the troops before battle...is a bit annoying because I'm trying to sleep and all but makes for awesome crazy cat pics like this one so keep on keepin' on....


You have a unique sense of style.  Who else could pull off Studious AND Hipster?



You're super into cuddles, which is nice until one of your Claws Of Doom pierces my skin...then it's not so cuddly.  But yeah, you're an awesome guy to hang with since we obviously love the same t.v. shows & movies.  Why else would you want to sit in my lap?  It's nice of you to be interested in my eating habits, especially if they involve turkey or cheese.  And how lovely it is that you feel close enough to me to drink out of my glass, because hey....what's mine is yours?


You're clearly a secret agent, ex. Perry The Platypus, because:

#1 - You are a Master Of Disguise.
 
#2 - You have mad Ninja skills.

 #3 - You're a cat who can drive.

You also must have been a model at some point in your life.  I mean, the camera loves you...


But sometimes, you freak me out a little.  Also, there's that thing with you drinking out of the toilet...


redrum....redrum....
 like, grody to the max!

I love that you love my other cat Serendipity.  I've had her for almost 11 years now and she hasn't liked a single other cat until you came around.  You guys were best friends from the start.  Photos like these melt my little heart.


You definitely let me know when you're pissed about something.  Take this photo, for instance, where you are clearly offended that I was paying attention to the t.v., watching Brave, instead of paying attention to you.  What was I thinking?!

At-ta-tude...

I'm not quite down with you peeing on the back door every few days.  Your kitteh doctor says that you're doing it because you know there's another cat outside and you're trying to defend your territory like "Oh hell nahhhh, this is my house, bro!" or something like that.  But dude, can we talk about your methods?  Can't we just write him a note saying please don't hang out in our yard or put up a sign that says 'no cats allowed but me and my best friend'?  It would save me so much time, not having to clean up after you...time that could potentially be used for pets and cuddles and the giving of cattreeeets.  People say that cats are one of the cleanest, neatest pets you can have.  It would be nice if you remembered that.

I realize that by now some of you lovely readers think I'm a crazy cat lady.  It happens.  In my defense, I only have two...not forty or sixty-three or eleventeen or whatever magical number it is that defines the term "Cat Lady".   I guess I should point out that Beauford especially has a way with people who don't like cats.  Many of our friends have said "I don't like cats but I like him." so that should count for something, right?  Right?!

*le sigh*  Anyway, you know I love you.  You're a pretty awesome dude.  Just thought you should know that.

♥,
Your Person

(p.s. - this post was inspired by alwaysashten's "love letter to her dog".  check it out.)