July 2, 2014

Things I Learned From Watching Trans4mers


Marky Mark is still super fine, even at 43.

Nicola Peltz is gorgeous.  (I really liked her on Bates Motel, too.)

The movie makes you wait entirely too damn long for the Dinobots to show up.

Frazier is still a dick.  (Isn't he always a dick?) 

It's pretty much standard practice for any lead female in a Michael Bay movie to wear the tightest, tiniest clothes possible.

They also must look hot with perfect makeup through the whole movie.

It was almost three hours.  (My butt went numb, FYI.)

Dinosaurs became extinct because of the aliens, y'all.

Marky Mark is supposed to be a native Texan in the movie.  Yeah, a native Texan with a Boston accent.

I can't look at Stanley Tucci anymore without seeing his character from the Hunger Games (& his big ass teeth!)

Caesar Flcikerman - Catching Fire
Hey baby....

The lady who plays Darcy looks a whole helluva lot like Kate Winslet.

Cade Yeager is a horrible movie name.

The FBI characters look like they should be in The Matrix instead of this movie.

You know, explosions & stuff....

The two main dudes (Marky Mark & the Australian guy) hate each other for most of the movie and then all of a sudden bond over how cool it is to shoot things...

Nicola Peltz's character is a sad departure from the independent character Megan Fox played. (same wardrobe, tho)  She's a total whiny damsel in distress through the entire movie.  (I can't believe I just complimented Megan Fox) 

Transformium.  HA.  You're not even trying, are you?

Holy hell, the product placements.  This movie was held together with them.

The Romeo & Juliet Law.  The fact that he kept a copy of it in his wallet (in case he almost gets arrested?) in itself made the Australian guy seem super creepy.

 “When you look to the stars, think of one of them as my soul.”