February 16, 2016

{Tiffany's 1st Annual Only Slightly Sarcastic Grammy Awards Recap}

Hello ladies and gentlemen, lovely to see you here this morning as we recap the beauty, madness, tragedy and joy that was the 2016 Grammy Awards.

Okay, everyone, let's do this!  First off, let's talk fashion...or attempts at fashion, in some cases.

 

Selena Gomez's dress clearly shows that she has become more comfortable in her own skin lately. I like how she still kept it classy. She's not showing off any more assets than anyone else, nothing is hanging out, it's all neat and well fitted. I think she looks healthy, sexy & beautiful.  
Tori Kelly has a sass that makes her so endearing. If you don't follow her on Snapchat (koritelly), you should. Her smile lights up the day. This dress is completely gorgeous. The color brings out the tan of her skin while the cut & shape work with her body type perfectly. Tori knows how to work glam.
Mya, girl, where have you been? You look amazing! Mya's choice of dress is incredibly flattering for her shape and I really love the elongated train. It's a little "Old Hollywood" & it gives her a great silhouette. The muted colors make her beautiful skin color stand out and the minimal jewelry completes the look.
Taylor Swift's outfit speaks to the New Taylor, the Sexy Taylor, the one who dresses for herself & not for what genre people want to put her in. I'm undecided on whether or not I like her haircut, it's very "Anna Wintour" to me, but the color choices on her two-piece dress are inspired. An obvious nod to Valentine's Day, but it also evokes Spring & celebration. I think the skirt is my favorite part. It's hot pants with a wrap around skirt with a long slit up the middle. Sexy, daring & totally gorgeous.


Dave Grohl wore a freaking t-shirt, jeans & a blazer to The Grammy's but he's freaking Dave Grohl, he can do what he wants.
Diplo's blue pinstripe suit was very well fitted and I like his unique choice of wearing a lapel pin on his suit jacket.
Tyler Oakley's choice of a blue checked suit with a navy button up was a much better choice than the Olive Drab Green suit from 2015.
Jack Antonoff kind of looks like he's going to prom in the 60's but it works for him.
Beck just went classic traditional in a black suit & white button up.
DJ Khaled surprised me by going for the suit & tie look. He offset his suit with some strange looking shoes & a cute little bow tie.
Lionel Richie kept things dark in a satin black blazer & pants, offset with a deep navy blue button up.
LL Cool J was another one (see what I did there?) of the few guys I saw last night who rocked the bow tie, but by far the coolest thing was his suit jacket with it's velvet lapels & "LL" monogram.
Sam Smith is another dude who wore the navy well. The addition of the pocket square is too cute.
Common went polka dot crazy and I have to say, I don't hate it. His shirt was polka dots, which complemented the polka dots on his lapel.
Big Sean looked straight up looked like a member of The Rat Pack last night. The white jacket with black pants look will never go out of style.
James Bay, I dig your velvet suit but the hat...not so much. I know it's your thing, but maybe you could have gone with a nice comb out or even a man bun?
The Weeknd kept things nice & monochromatic this time around, all the way up to his bow tie.



 


To be fair, these dresses weren't bad, they just weren't my favorite things these gorgeous ladies have ever worn. That, or I thought something needed to be tweaked a bit for the outfit to have looked better.

Chrissy Teigen is a complete stunner, even when at 5-7 months pregnant. The only thing I would change about her outfit is the color of the dress.  I think a champagne color would have looked amazing on her.
Gwen Stefani. Oh Gwen, you're my spirit animal but lately you've been sticking to this Red/Black/White scheme like you're the long lost third member of The White Stripes. I know style evolves as we get older but I really miss her classic Gwen style. This dress, however, needs to lose the turtleneck, and fast. Replace it with a boatneck & it would look 100% better.
Adele looks a bit matronly in her Grammy gowns, at least in my opinion. Between the red and the black dresses she wore, they almost look like the exact same dress. I wish she'd take a bit of a fashion risk. I'm not talking Ciara risky, but maybe something akin to Mya or Tori Kelly's Grammy dresses?
Kaley Cuoco is gorgeous and has legs for days but I just didn't care for the bodysuit. It looks a little Lady Elvis for my taste. It might have been better if it were a dress instead of pants. More of a Cinderella vibe that way.
Jane Seymour, what are you even doing at The Grammy's? Your dress is fab, tho.
Ellie Goulding gets on my nerves in general so when I saw her ill-fitting dress, I just thought no. Lose the train & deepen the pink and it would have looked better. The shade of pink is too light for her skin tone.
Ciara is sexy and toned, no doubt, but her dress looks like something fancy lady Tarzan would wear. I think it would have looked better if it was just one color/pattern.
Demi Lovato chose what pretty much amounts to a power suit to wear on the red carpet. She looks beautiful, as always, but it seems kind of Headmistress-y to me.
Ashley Monroe, I'm not sure who you are but your dress is pretty. I really like the flowy look of the dress but wish it was in a color better suited for your skin tone. A plum tone would have been amazing.
Janelle Monae definitely has her own signature, quirky style. She sticks to black and white most of the time but her personality always shines through.
Carrie Underwood's dress was gorgeous...except for whatever that fabric was trying to do at her chest area. That just threw me off.
Kacey Musgraves looks gorgeous. That dress is complex and beautiful. If she'd worn her hair down with maybe a thin necklace of some sort, she would have been unstoppable.
Bella Hadid is apparently taking lessons from Victoria Beckham on how to not smile, which is sad, because I'm sure she has a lovely smile. Eighty-six the slicked back hair for a natural wave and you'd look less Terminator & more Hollywood Vixen.





The following people just made me want to ask them what the f*ck they were thinking. Also, I didn't know who like half these people were.

Madison Beer, you look like a twelve year old hooker. Take lessons from Kiernan Shipka about how to be young & stylish.
Meghan Trainor needs to give that dress back to the 1980's and dye her hair back blonde.
Andra Day needs to give this outfit back to Bjork.
Florence Welch, this 'whimsical Loretta Lynn' thing is just so you.
Guiliana Rancic looks like she wants to walk like an Egyptian.
Beyonce...why, girl, why? This dress is just awful.
Lisa Lampanelli looks like a cross between Jared Leto's Joker & Ed Grimley.
Jacqueline Van Bierk looks like an evil Rainbow Brite villain.
Zendaya, were you just trying to be edgy or was this some half-assed David Bowie tribute thing because I cannot think of a single rational reason that made you mullet it up last night.
Lady GaGa, this photo hurts my face.
Dencia apparently raided Nicki Minaj's old outfits.
Manika looks like someone told her it was Stripper Night at The Grammy's.
Z LaLa is all about that Rainbow Brite villain life too.
Joy Villa, you just look real uncomfortable.
The Hollywood Vampires is an actual band. This is a lot to process.
Justin Bieber, bringing your adorably cute brother to The Grammy's does not diminish what an ass you are.
Sam Hunt & his pink suit need to go have a date at the Tailor's because it just looks awkward on him.
Wiz Khalifa was most likely high when he dressed himself so there's that, at least.
Skrillex looks like the love child of Corey Feldman and that guy who thinks he's a robot from Grandma's Boy.
Pharrell is awesome but his Grammy outfit looks like he's spending the day at the farmer's market.
Bruno Mars is apparently trying real hard to bring back Pimp Daddy Purple.




These are just little tidbits & highlights that deserved extra mention.

Carrie Underwood's performance dress was amazing! Demi Lovato's performance outfit was amazing too! I loved seeing Travis Barker & his kids on the red carpet. I hadn't seen them since they were little, back when they were on their MTV reality show. How they've grown up!

Can you tell what my favorite thing of the night was? It's fairly obvious. I mean, I love the boy so much I can barely stand it.  My favorite part of the night was the reappearance of Ed Sheeran! It's been so long since he's made an actual appearance anywhere that it was pure joy to see him on screen.


Look at him! Look at how lovely he is. How he's in awe of those awards - awards he should have won a long time ago. I'm not sure what's up with the face in the middle but it's 100% classic Sheeran.